the joys and pain of being a mother

AN ARTICLE FROM THE MAGAZINE VOICE OF WOMAN..............
Pavitra Katuwal
Ours was an arranged marriage. When I gave birth to my son, I was really happy. I can't describe how I felt. Things were going fine until my husband fell ill. My son was a year and a half old then. Doctors thought it was Tuberculosis and started medication accordingly, but the medicine had no effect on him. He grew weaker each day. We took him to Biratnagar and there he was diagnosed with HIV. I didn't know much about the virus then. I felt my world was falling apart when both, our son and I were also found infected. I used to think that this sort of thing happens only in movies. My husband was a driver and until then he had no knowledge that he was HIV positive. He was very disheartened and felt guilty for having ruined our lives. He wanted me to leave him and come to Kathmandu and undergo treatment so that we could live some more years. But I refused and stayed with him until he died one and a half months after the diagnosis. Immediately after, I came to Kathmandu along with my son. I had heard of Maiti Ne pal and that it supports helpless women like me. Since I arrived here, they have been more than helpful. They have even provided education for my son who is four years old now. Today, I volunteer in the organisation and look after patients and children. I also knit sweaters and make glass bead necklaces. In Maiti Nepal, there are many women with similar stories, so within the boundary nobody discriminates each other, but unfortunately the situation is not the same outside. However, it makes no difference to me. Being a mother has made me more concerned about my son than myself. My son is a happy child and he loves me dearly. I wish he never had HIV. I just wish that God grants my son a long, healthy, and happy life. A mother is someone who wants to fulfil all the desires of her child(ren), I wish the same for him. Mother's Day is an occasion to show your mother that you care for her. My son always manages to make me feel special on that day in his own simple and innocent ways.